Melissa, thank you for being brave enough to share all you have been through and to still deal with. We sometimes make a statement "things can't get any worse"but that often isn't the reality.
Be confident though that your words are not wasted and if even one other person who is dealing with similar issues reads this and is helped or encouraged, or even just feels less alone, then it is worthwhile.

My wife suffers from depression and anxiety due to childhood trauma and a multitude of health issues, so I can relate to some extent. Though I have little experience with suicide.
I am glad you are back writing and reading here on Mediim