Nour, I have had times when I felt the same … what is the point of my existence? No matter how hard I work or try it doesn’t really change the world. However much I earn things still happen that take it away or need repair or replacing. People are never satisfied and want more.
I can relate to how you feel on your birthday, depressed and wanting to be alone when everyone else wants to celebrate and party oblivious to how you feel. Birthdays and celebrations like Christmas etc can be the times certain people feel most down.

Hopefully your reflection has helped, but don’t dwell on it. Life goes on, today is a new day. Maybe take some time to get away from work and just do some things for you … that you enjoy.

You do make a difference and you have many friends and followers through your writing. You do make a difference, even though you may not see the effect. You have so much ahead of you, and you never know what new direction your life may take.

I wish you well, my friend.